Saturday, December 29, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
A Letter to Eli from our doula, Heather Hilton
Dear Eli,
Your mommy asked me to write my recollection of the events of your birth. I’m not sure I can adequately form the words to describe the amazing and beautiful gift that she gave you that day, but I will do my best.
When I met your mommy for the first time, I felt like I was reconnecting with an old friend, even though we were strangers. We talked for hours like we had always known each other and we prayed together before I left. I found your mommy to be a woman filled with the spirit of the Lord. She put on a tough exterior, but there was a fragility just below the surface and I felt drawn to want to protect her.
Over the next few weeks, I met with your mommy a couple of times and as she began to feel more supported, I watched her blossom into a confident mother bear – ready to walk through fire to meet her sweet baby.
Then one morning I received a call from your mommy. It seemed that you were sending the signals that you were on your way! Her waters were leaking and she was having some contractions, but here she was calling me from work – yes, work! – guarding her secret like a giddy school girl.
She had a doctor’s appointment already scheduled for later that day, so we decided to talk after that. When we spoke in the afternoon, she said that the doctor confirmed that her membranes had released and she was already halfway dilated! It was very exciting news, and I told your mommy to call me whenever she was ready for some extra support.
You will have to forgive me, because somehow the time escapes me. Later that night (it was dark…I think it was after dinner), your mommy called and said she was ready for some help. I packed my things and headed over. I was so excited for your mommy that I missed my turn and almost found myself lost in your neighborhood! When I arrived, your mommy was on all fours on the couch, leaning into the arm rest. She said that this was the most comfortable position she had found. She was talking and giggling between contractions and she breathed deeply and rocked back and forth during them.
Your mommy was the perfect picture of confidence. She was excited and seemingly totally free of fear. We laughed a lot in those first couple of hours that I was there. It almost felt like we were having a slumber party. The house was dark and quiet, and the TV was on something but it was muted and neither of us was paying any attention. We were too busy talking about what your name would be and what we thought you would look like.
Eventually, mommy started feeling some pressure in her bottom and her contractions were not following a regular pattern. She got up and walked around some, which brought the contractions on stronger, but still not regular. I suggested that maybe we should check mommy and see how close you were to coming. Mommy agreed. When I checked, I found that mommy had done a lot of work! She had dilated a little more and you were working your way down. It also felt like you might not be in just the right position. I suggested that Mommy should lay on her side for a few contractions to encourage you to turn, and we both thought she might be more comfortable in the bath.
While Mommy got situated in the bath tub, I stepped out to call your doctor. She was just as excited as I was to hear what a great job your mommy was doing! We decided to work a little longer at home, and we would meet the doctor in an hour or so at the hospital.
Mommy was not very happy with me for suggesting that she lay on her side, because it made her contractions much stronger and harder to handle. However, she was delightful and understanding the whole time. She asked me to come into the bathroom so I was closer, and she breathed and worked through the contractions like a trouper. She knew she had a job to do, and she diligently did her job. I lost count of contractions at one point, but not your mommy! She knew exactly how many she had left to handle on her side and she did not let me forget!
After the bath, we began to make the move to the hospital. Mommy was still joyful between contractions, and almost didn’t believe that this was really “it.” I helped her get dressed and quickly moved everything into the car. It took a little while to get to the car, but mommy was so strong. Once we got in, I did my best to avoid bumps….but I don’t think I did a very good job. It was kind of a bumpy ride to the hospital, but we made it and Mommy was awesome!
We walked up to the room – yes,walked – and Mommy stopped when she needed to for contractions. When we got into the room, we met our nurse and she was lovely and very supportive of the birth that your mommy wanted to give you. When she checked, she found that mommy had dilated even MORE!! This labor was moving right along, and we were all joyous to know that we would meet you soon. The nurse commented that she was shocked that your mommy was so calm and cheerful when she was so far along in her labor.
At this point, everything starts running together for me. It was very late at night, or early in the morning, and a lot of things are a blur. So, I don’t know that I will remember every single event, but I want to highlight the ones that are memorable to me.
I think there might have been a forebag of waters over your head and the doctor released them (I think this is what I remember). At that point, things got more intense in a hurry. Mommy was working very hard now, and the sensations that happen in your body during this part of labor are totally overwhelming. At some point (or points) mommy vomited. She apologized, which was so funny to me because it was just so sweet.
Mommy spent time on the birth ball, on the toilet, in the shower, and was getting close to no relief. Slumped over the bed at one point, Mommy asked me to pray for her. I prayed for strength and clarity for Mommy and for health and safety for you. God is good!
Mommy was on the toilet at one point and the nurse wanted to listen to your heartbeat and Mommy just stated emphatically that she was NOT getting up and if that nurse needed to listen that she would have to come in the bathroom. So, that’s what she did. And of course, Mommy apologized….because that’s the kind of sweet woman she is.
In the shower Mommy begged me to help her. She started doubting herself and wondering if she had the strength to carry on. I did my best to remind her how far she had come, and what a short journey she had left to travel, all the while knowing that you mommy was the only one who could do the work of giving you life. As much as I wanted to take her discomfort and “save” her, the only way out is through and this was a path that Mommy had to walk on her own, just as all other women who had passed this way before her.
The doctor came in and checked mommy and we received the wonderful news that mommy was fully dilated and you were on your way out! Mommy was so very tired. She had been laboring all night long and she expressed her doubts that she had enough energy to complete your birth. Everyone in the room - me, the nurse, and the doctor – turned into cheerleaders for Mommy. We were reminding her what a strong and capable woman she is and what a sweet and wonderful gift she would have when this was over. That gift would be you.
Mommy pushed and pushed. Between contractions she rested and sometimes even slept. She asked for help when she needed it and she worked like you would never believe. Just when we thought that Mommy might not have any fight left, here you came!!
You. Were. Beautiful.
Your mommy scooped you up in her arms while the nurses worked to get the goop out of your lungs. Mommy was half in shock that it was over and 100% totally in love with YOU. I don’t even remember what I did at this point. Usually this is where I take pictures, but honestly I can’t remember. I know that I cried, for you and for your mommy. I cried with joy to our Lord who carried us all through the night safely.
Eli, you are such a very lucky young man. Your mommy, your MOTHER, loves you so very much. She stepped aside that night and allowed you to be first. She let you do your work and thought not of herself and her own needs. She wanted you, her firstborn son, to have the most amazing and wonderful welcome into the world. Never forget what a gift your mother gave you in that birth, and never forget what a gift God gave you in your mother.
Love and blessings,
Heather Hilton (your doula)
Your mommy asked me to write my recollection of the events of your birth. I’m not sure I can adequately form the words to describe the amazing and beautiful gift that she gave you that day, but I will do my best.
When I met your mommy for the first time, I felt like I was reconnecting with an old friend, even though we were strangers. We talked for hours like we had always known each other and we prayed together before I left. I found your mommy to be a woman filled with the spirit of the Lord. She put on a tough exterior, but there was a fragility just below the surface and I felt drawn to want to protect her.
Over the next few weeks, I met with your mommy a couple of times and as she began to feel more supported, I watched her blossom into a confident mother bear – ready to walk through fire to meet her sweet baby.
Then one morning I received a call from your mommy. It seemed that you were sending the signals that you were on your way! Her waters were leaking and she was having some contractions, but here she was calling me from work – yes, work! – guarding her secret like a giddy school girl.
She had a doctor’s appointment already scheduled for later that day, so we decided to talk after that. When we spoke in the afternoon, she said that the doctor confirmed that her membranes had released and she was already halfway dilated! It was very exciting news, and I told your mommy to call me whenever she was ready for some extra support.
You will have to forgive me, because somehow the time escapes me. Later that night (it was dark…I think it was after dinner), your mommy called and said she was ready for some help. I packed my things and headed over. I was so excited for your mommy that I missed my turn and almost found myself lost in your neighborhood! When I arrived, your mommy was on all fours on the couch, leaning into the arm rest. She said that this was the most comfortable position she had found. She was talking and giggling between contractions and she breathed deeply and rocked back and forth during them.
Your mommy was the perfect picture of confidence. She was excited and seemingly totally free of fear. We laughed a lot in those first couple of hours that I was there. It almost felt like we were having a slumber party. The house was dark and quiet, and the TV was on something but it was muted and neither of us was paying any attention. We were too busy talking about what your name would be and what we thought you would look like.
Eventually, mommy started feeling some pressure in her bottom and her contractions were not following a regular pattern. She got up and walked around some, which brought the contractions on stronger, but still not regular. I suggested that maybe we should check mommy and see how close you were to coming. Mommy agreed. When I checked, I found that mommy had done a lot of work! She had dilated a little more and you were working your way down. It also felt like you might not be in just the right position. I suggested that Mommy should lay on her side for a few contractions to encourage you to turn, and we both thought she might be more comfortable in the bath.
While Mommy got situated in the bath tub, I stepped out to call your doctor. She was just as excited as I was to hear what a great job your mommy was doing! We decided to work a little longer at home, and we would meet the doctor in an hour or so at the hospital.
Mommy was not very happy with me for suggesting that she lay on her side, because it made her contractions much stronger and harder to handle. However, she was delightful and understanding the whole time. She asked me to come into the bathroom so I was closer, and she breathed and worked through the contractions like a trouper. She knew she had a job to do, and she diligently did her job. I lost count of contractions at one point, but not your mommy! She knew exactly how many she had left to handle on her side and she did not let me forget!
After the bath, we began to make the move to the hospital. Mommy was still joyful between contractions, and almost didn’t believe that this was really “it.” I helped her get dressed and quickly moved everything into the car. It took a little while to get to the car, but mommy was so strong. Once we got in, I did my best to avoid bumps….but I don’t think I did a very good job. It was kind of a bumpy ride to the hospital, but we made it and Mommy was awesome!
We walked up to the room – yes,walked – and Mommy stopped when she needed to for contractions. When we got into the room, we met our nurse and she was lovely and very supportive of the birth that your mommy wanted to give you. When she checked, she found that mommy had dilated even MORE!! This labor was moving right along, and we were all joyous to know that we would meet you soon. The nurse commented that she was shocked that your mommy was so calm and cheerful when she was so far along in her labor.
At this point, everything starts running together for me. It was very late at night, or early in the morning, and a lot of things are a blur. So, I don’t know that I will remember every single event, but I want to highlight the ones that are memorable to me.
I think there might have been a forebag of waters over your head and the doctor released them (I think this is what I remember). At that point, things got more intense in a hurry. Mommy was working very hard now, and the sensations that happen in your body during this part of labor are totally overwhelming. At some point (or points) mommy vomited. She apologized, which was so funny to me because it was just so sweet.
Mommy spent time on the birth ball, on the toilet, in the shower, and was getting close to no relief. Slumped over the bed at one point, Mommy asked me to pray for her. I prayed for strength and clarity for Mommy and for health and safety for you. God is good!
Mommy was on the toilet at one point and the nurse wanted to listen to your heartbeat and Mommy just stated emphatically that she was NOT getting up and if that nurse needed to listen that she would have to come in the bathroom. So, that’s what she did. And of course, Mommy apologized….because that’s the kind of sweet woman she is.
In the shower Mommy begged me to help her. She started doubting herself and wondering if she had the strength to carry on. I did my best to remind her how far she had come, and what a short journey she had left to travel, all the while knowing that you mommy was the only one who could do the work of giving you life. As much as I wanted to take her discomfort and “save” her, the only way out is through and this was a path that Mommy had to walk on her own, just as all other women who had passed this way before her.
The doctor came in and checked mommy and we received the wonderful news that mommy was fully dilated and you were on your way out! Mommy was so very tired. She had been laboring all night long and she expressed her doubts that she had enough energy to complete your birth. Everyone in the room - me, the nurse, and the doctor – turned into cheerleaders for Mommy. We were reminding her what a strong and capable woman she is and what a sweet and wonderful gift she would have when this was over. That gift would be you.
Mommy pushed and pushed. Between contractions she rested and sometimes even slept. She asked for help when she needed it and she worked like you would never believe. Just when we thought that Mommy might not have any fight left, here you came!!
You. Were. Beautiful.
Your mommy scooped you up in her arms while the nurses worked to get the goop out of your lungs. Mommy was half in shock that it was over and 100% totally in love with YOU. I don’t even remember what I did at this point. Usually this is where I take pictures, but honestly I can’t remember. I know that I cried, for you and for your mommy. I cried with joy to our Lord who carried us all through the night safely.
Eli, you are such a very lucky young man. Your mommy, your MOTHER, loves you so very much. She stepped aside that night and allowed you to be first. She let you do your work and thought not of herself and her own needs. She wanted you, her firstborn son, to have the most amazing and wonderful welcome into the world. Never forget what a gift your mother gave you in that birth, and never forget what a gift God gave you in your mother.
Love and blessings,
Heather Hilton (your doula)
Sunday, December 23, 2007
A Dog's Welcome
Here we are coming home from the hospital.
I think that the girls liked him right away, and I know they missed me!
Our first moments at home were so special. I still could not believe that he was mine! Did they know what they were doing when they let me leave the hospital with a BABY?!?!?
Saturday, December 22, 2007
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